Fantasy Stock Market and Accompanying Recession: Week Two

BUY:

-Me out of my league.

-Alex Smith. When he was at Utah with Urban Meyer, Smith was used to run the football consistently. If you watched any of Tim Tebow's starts at Florida, it had to remind you a little of Alex Smith with the Utes. Last night against New Orleans, Smith got mobile and it nearly won the game for San Francisco. Arguably, playing quarterback well is part being comfortable. In the pocket, or on the field. It doesn't matter. Smith looked twitchy early, but as he led the 49ers back from the brink, things looked promising. Even more important, for the two-point conversion, San Fran, instead of handing off to Frank Gore, who was KILLING it, chose to pass. With the game on the line, they told Alex Smith to come through. And he did. Hot snow is falling up.

-Jay Cutler. You don't have to like him, but you will respect him from now until he sulks once more. The Cowboys are good against the pass, both at rushing the passer and in the secondary. They diced up the Redskins' passing attack, the same one that made Houston look like garbage as Donovan McNabb put on a show. Cutler, despite running for his life and fighting off the urge to yell at small children, played excellently. With Mike Martz in charge, this team will throw the ball a lot and successfully. Get in on some of that sweet.

-Jason Snelling. Turner was hurt for a good chunk of last year and he's hurt now. Pick up Snelling and pray that a groin injury is just as uncomfortable as it sounds.

-Dustin Keller. Those that know me realize I'm slowly describing my team to you, but I swear this is an impartial pick. Braylon Edwards and his vitriol for institutions like M.A.D.D. may have him suspended. Not only that, but Keller is the real deal. The Jets promised he'd play a Dallas Clark type of role for them, and I believe it. They moved him into the slot at times and used Ben Hartsock at tight end when they planned on running.

-Michael Vick. The people who spout off the Kolb has played a single half of football as rationale for starting him are ignorant themselves. In the same breath that Kolb hasn't had time to prove himself, Vick has. He's played years of football at an elite level. Kevin Kolb can't say that about himself. That this incarnation of Vick has smartened up and been forced to do crazy things like "watch film" doesn't bode well for opponents.

SELL:

-Jay Cutler. If you don't believe in the Chicago renaissance, now is the time to dump Sulky McInterception and call it a day. That nickname is patent pending.

-Josh Freeman. He's not as good as advertised, and neither are the Bucs. They've played two games against the Browns and the Panthers. Neither of those teams had a quarterback, and both of them have had a hard time stopping the pass. Tampa hasn't played a team that can rush the passer effectively, and Josh Freeman's sideburns aren't conducive to continued success.

-Shonn Greene. LaDainian Tomlinson wants to prove us all wrong. On Sunday, he looked capable of doing so. Rex Ryan just wants to win, so if Greene doesn't start contributing he'll see his carries slip away.

-Joseph Addai & Donald Brown. I don't know exactly how Indianapolis ran the ball so well, but I'm pretty sure they won't be able to do it again. When given the option of being beaten by the run or by the pass, most defenses would choose the latter.

GOLDEN PARACHUTE:

-Mike Sims-Walker. The Human Hyphen had the best game of his career Sunday. His 10 catch, 105 yard, one touchdown, performance isn't likely to repeat itself. Maurice Jones-Drew hasn't been touching the ball nearly enough, and that's going to change because the Jags aren't stupid. Wait, is that Mike Tice on the sidelines? Er, just trust me on this one.

PONZI SCHEME OF THE WEEK:

-A trade that saw Cedric Benson swapped for Reggie Bush and Dez Bryant. Bush's knee was wrecked last night, and Dez Bryant is still a No. 2 receiver. If we had a fantasy jail, you'd be sent there and forced to sleep in a cell that has only a queen-size bed and no HBO on the flatscreen. You monster.