If you haven't seen ESPN's 30 For 30 documentary on the Miami Hurricanes, you're among friends. I haven't seen it either but I'm told it's fantastic; so here's some highlights to tide us over until we finally watch the thing. And if you've seen it there's probably some applicable moments to be viewed here as well. They are sorted from crazy to craziest, and I'm talking about the subject's state of mind, not playing ability. As if I had to tell you that. Enjoy these Hurricane alums running roughshod over your heroes.
If there's ever a job opening for Batman I nominate Ed Reed.
The Dallas Cowboys in the 1990's were a force of nature, and Michael Irvin could be called the eye of that storm. For the sake of objectivity I'm just going to post his highlight. THEY HAD A BUILDING CALLED THE WHITE HOUSE DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
Here's a nice photo montage of a man who's Google search immediately suggests, "Warren Sapp cheap hit".
Don't watch this video with the lights off.
And perhaps the most frightening player of all...
SPECIAL BONUS VIDEO
Here's Sean Taylor blowing up Brian Moorman IN THE PRO BOWL. The man was a beast.
The 1983 NFL Draft is the Holy Grail of quarterbacking. Sean Connery has devoted his life's work to finding it, and everyone else has wasted time debating it. Elway. Marino. Kelly. Eason. Take away that last one and you've got one helluva draft class. Watch the videos, plus an added bonus: Ken O'Brien! Yeah, I wasn't a fan either.
This video excels on two levels: 1) It's Dan Marino and you should worship him like a demi-god and 2) "Bad to the Bone" blaring in the background cracks me up nicely. And check out that cannon; the man could have punched a hole through the Berlin Wall with the pigskin. Glasnost my ass.
There are zero highlight compilations of the "K-Gun" operator, as far as a thirty second Google search knows. Get off your beligerent asses and remedy this, Bills fans. So, to balance my Marino fandom, here's Kelly leading a game-winning drive against Miami. Boo.
You probably don't remember this, but Elway played in this game...
...and totally lost it! Yeah, Elway lost this game, but he probably wins the '83 Quarterback showdown. Not because he was the best, but because he won the most. Maybe I should have just posted a Terrell Davis highlight instead. SNAP.
The former Jets pivot makes it rain, but that still doesn't mean I remember watching him.
This one goes out to all my heavy brethren out there. Never stop believing.
Larry Allen is quite possibly the greatest human being to have ever lived, even if he did play for the Dallas Cowboys. AND HE WAS FAT AS HELL. Does this man look like he needs a motherfucking fitness test?
William "The Refrigerator" Perry
Uh, this pretty much speaks for itself.
Here's Pittsburgh's nosetackle going off in the Super Bowl. Now that's a gut.